We returned from our trip to the movies last night - 10,000 B.C. - to discover this lying on our family room carpet. In fact, while this was certainly the most gruesome section, there were feathers strewn about a much larger area of the room.
Our forensic experts surmise that the victim was dragged forcibly through the exterior cat door, across the garage, and through the second cat door into my office. We discovered some stray feather fibres clinging to the inside edge of this door. From there, it would have been taken through to the kitchen and family room wherein this nightmare tragedy would fully unfold. Clearly, it was cruelly taunted and chased around the room for a while before expiring of near decapitation at the hands of the murderer(s).
And who might be responsible? It didn't take long for us to identify our prime suspects. They were sat right by the corpse licking their lips and feeling proud of what they had caught us for dinner.
Luckily, we weren't hungry just then as we had already eaten at... wait for it... Red Robin!
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